Are people telling you to "get over" your loss?



Maybe the loss you suffered was a loved one who died, or a partner or spouse to divorce. Perhaps it was a significant change in your life (like living through a disaster). Initially, people can be very sympathetic and helpful. Yet later on when you still hurt, people are not as patient with you. They might tell you to "get over it" or "get on with life". It's not uncommon for people to still suffer up to six months or a year after they have lost someone. Letting go of a loss can be hard and gradual. I have many years of experience in helping people cope with loss. Sometimes, there can be traumatic elements to loss that make it harder to heal naturally or on your own from losses. Some of these traumatic elements include:
  • Sudden, unexpected loss;
  • Stigmatized death (like death from suicide or AIDS)
  • A sense of disbelief about the loss;
  • Lasting anger and bitterness about the loss;
  • Inability to get images and memories of the loss out of your head;
  • Intense yearning for the lost person;
  • Preoccupation with the loss and inability to tend to the activities of daily life.
At times your loved ones might grieve the loss differently, and it seems as though they don't care as much or as deeply as you do. They might be frustrated and feel somewhat helpless to assist you in "moving on" as they seem to have. What can help is education about loss, support, making sense of the loss, and then incorporating the loss into your heart without letting it stop you from growing and changing into a new life without that person. For more information about how I can help, click here.

Please call 661-233-6771 today to receive professional help from a psychologist who knows how to help you through this tough transition.