Why isn't love enough to make a relationship work?


Many times people wonder why, when they love their partners wholeheartedly and have been with them for so long, the relationship doesn't go better. Communication may be dicey at best, or verbally abusive at worst. Interacting with romantic partners may make them feel distant, disconnected, or hurt. Conversely, they may feel that they don't have enough room and that they are suffocated by a needy person's demands for time and affection. One or both parties might feel "this just isn't working," but might also fear leaving the relationship or giving up too easily.

When they have families with children, it makes it even harder to juggle the needs and wants of everyone involved and provide a safe, nurturing environment for children and adults alike. Misunderstandings, poor communication, and the changing developmental needs of each member of the family change as everyone evolves. his is normal, but it can be very uncomfortable too. The stakes are higher when children are involved, which sometimes means that people stay in a dysfunctional situation "for the kids' sake", but they often don't see a way to get their needs met individually when they make this decision. People can become embittered with the sacrifices they make and might take it out on the children verbally or worse, physically.

There is hope for relationships, when people want to do the work!

Luckily, people can learn to communicate better, take responsibility for their own foibles and limitations, and figure out how to get along better. However, it takes a willingness for all parties involved to be honest, courageous and willing to learn. When people are interested in adopting these qualities, I often see wonderful changes occur in relationships, and people can rediscover the love and positive qualities they first saw in the other person. Whether the relationship is a traditional, committed marriage between a man and a woman, between two men or two women, or polyamorous, I believe in helping all relationships flourish with good communication, intimacy, fun, humor, and the spirit of committed collaboration. If you would like to get help for your relationship, please contact me.